Ambivalence

 

I love the word ambivalence.  It is uncertainty that makes you stop long enough to choose.   Much like a moment of decision making, be happy, or not.

I wake each morning at a moment of ambivalence.  That moment where there is ‘twilight’ before day.  Because the State of Western Australia is vast, when I travel I search for this hour on the internet, and set my alarm to it.  Somehow I always wake one minute before the alarm.  I want to be there, ringside, when it happens.  I am never disappointed.  Much like my decision, every day, to be happy.

Last night I received a weather warning and went to bed unsettled.  We were to expect a severe storm with hail and rain of up to 100 mm in some parts.  For me, a good storm is like fine wine.  Best enjoyed in company.  I dislike them when I’m on my own so I did not sleep well expecting the storm to arrive around 1 am, as promised.  Instead, I stayed up to hear the metronome of rain off the roof.  Tap.  Tap.  Tap.

As dawn breaks, it is turning into a steady stream.  The magpie larks are cheering the rain on enthusiastically.  Perhaps, I am not alone after all.  I have company to enjoy the storm.  Should it arrive.

I usually work in the early hours when I’m home.  I’ve learned not to do this as part of self-care when I travel and with good reason.  Catching dawn over Lily Creek Lagoon, Kununurra in the far north with the silhouette of the young boab tree forefront, is unforgettable.  The palm trees against sunrise at Roebuck Bay, and the rocky outcrop at Town Beach, Broome are places I rush to wake to.  The blazing horizon in the Wheatbelt is always spectacular.  The car park at the jetty in Jurien Bay mirrors delight.  The surreal calm of Esperance Bay with its historic, iconic jetty in the background is something to be experienced.  These are seductions I willingly succumb to.

Mornings are where I plan my day.  I arrive at a destination in my mind.  Today I have two days of work to catch up.  I will complete my tasks happily.  My family is well and happy.  I ask for no more.  The thought gives my feet and fingers wings.  I can achieve what I plan to do today.  May you do too.

Until next time,

As always

a dawn bird

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s