Standing on Willare Bridge, between Derby and Broome, in the far north west, some 2000 km away from Perth, I watched a wild bull swim across the Fitzroy River. The area is known for crocodiles. Perhaps, it was his previous experiences that gave him confidence in his ability to get to the other side. And, he did. I’ve reflected on this picture many times since December last year. It resonates on a deeper level.
As I mentioned in the previous post, there was a time when I lived in a world of uncertainty. Financial uncertainty is never an easy thing to manage, especially when you have children who are dependent on you. I had nothing to keep body and soul together except my faith. I recall a time when I had just enough petrol in the car to either get me to university or to my part time work. I hated missing lectures but if I didn’t get to work, I would not get paid, so, reluctantly, work it was that day. Deep in decision-making I walked from my front door to my car in the driveway and to my right, from the corner of my eye I saw something flutter in the breeze. I ignored it. Unlocking my car I thought, if my children were with me I would expect them to pick up the garbage and put it into the bin. My father always said, personal integrity is what you do, when no one is looking. I retraced my steps to the rose bush and to my amazement, fluttering in the breeze was a $50 bill.
On another occasion I was seated in a noisy cafe at the skating rink while my children were enjoying a small birthday party. Just the two of them and four friends. I could not afford anything more than the price for the smallest group. Trying to study while they squealed with delight every time they whizzed by I felt sadness that I could not give them more. I had spent most of my budget that week on the party and wondered how I would budget for the coming few days until I got paid again. I felt a tap on my shoulder and the manager returned the money I paid him, saying the children were having such a good time, he wanted to give me the party for free.
There were many, many instances like this in those years. I have no explanation except to say, I had implicit faith, I and the children would be okay. And, we are. We have crossed over to the other side.
Now my faith gets tested and strengthened in different ways. My work is dependent on decision making of others. The last two months have been an uncomfortable time. I will always find work because of my profession. But it’s the work I love doing is what I have been fretting about. I’ve had to remind myself in those moments of uneasy … you gotta have faith.
I woke to a wide, pink sky this morning and felt a frisson of excitement. I woke to the knowledge, all is well.
May it be so in your world too.
a dawn bird
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