I’ve not been myself in the last few months. The end of financial year has been more stressful than necessary, with changes to contracts and the choice of work on offer. There’s always a degree of uncertainty in change and new management and this in itself brings a degree of discomfort. I haven’t handled this well. I’ve been expecting others to be understanding and ‘carry me’. On my own, I do well. I can rely on myself to make it to the other side, but when I burden myself with expectations I place on others … well, some days are not gold.
This morning I stayed in bed. I listened to the laughter of kookaburras in the distance. For a moment, the sound was mocking. Fool! came to mind. I struggled with this thought, berating myself. I know myself to be someone who is focused when I’m committed to something. Others may see this as sheer stubbornness. What I see as a strength, can be perceived to be a negative by others. There is an easy way out. I could be a home body, sit in an office, have a work day that’s 9 to 5. But the very thought of that kind of existence makes me shrivel up inside.
This morning I watched the day go from grey to grey. I stared intently outside the window and realised, if I looked hard enough there was colour out there. The camera was able to fade the grey into the background and I could see the flower. It was what my spirit needed for reflection.
In the frenetic end of financial year I’ve been asked to do a series of professional development seminars for staff. It is extra work, without a doubt. I gave a talk the other day. The night before my flight was delayed several hours due to poor weather and then we landed after missed approaches. The stress of crosswinds! In the morning, to my dismay I realised I was giving a talk that afternoon. At the end of the seminar, in the privacy of my office, one of the staff approached me. She hugged me and said she enjoyed the talk and, I was doing what I was meant to do with my life. She had no idea what the backdrop to my day had been. She brought colour to a very grey day.I enjoyed my drive to the Wheatbelt yesterday. I arrived at dusk. The winter skies were amazing across a varied landscape. The moon peered for a moment, before being hidden from sight. Although weary, the moment made me smile. As I unpacked my car in the cold I thought every so often I should write about the things I’m truly grateful for.
Today I am.
I’ve found in this fast changing world of Like and Love buttons, and emojis, the ‘button’ best pressed is the one of genuine appreciation … one human being, of another. I hope I find the opportunity today to let someone know how much I appreciate them. That’s my mission today.
Until next time
a dawn bird