“You have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way.” – Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull
Some see seagulls. I look for them. And, when I find them, and that’s not hard to do wherever I am, I flick through the pages of the book ‘Jonathan Livingstone Seagull’. The quote above has never been more meaningful as it is today.
Decades ago, soon after my separation and while at university, I struck up the most unlikely friendship with a fellow classmate. I was a mother from the suburbs, struggling to project an air of stability for my very young children, when my world had fallen apart. He would have been a good 15 years younger than me, long blond hair (because he could not afford to cut it) and straight from the pages of the 1960s hippie era when he talked about love and freedom of choice. He had an air about him. He cared deeply for things that matter. When around him, I took deep breaths.
One afternoon we met in the cafeteria. We bought a meagre lunch and shared it between the two of us. Still hurting I disclosed to him how overwhelming life was and how I wished I found someone who could fill the void. I had learned to trust him when I bounced off him. So I waited while he chewed silently and nodded his head thoughtfully while looking into the distance. He then held my gaze while responding, “And, when you do, run like hell in the opposite direction!” I was so confused! He then went on to explain. The universe had given me an opportunity to enrich my life. The void was filled with opportunities. I had never been whole before but it was attainable and when I achieved it, if anyone entered my life their presence would enhance it. If and when they left, there would be no void. I would still be whole. Once I grasped what he meant, I found what I had, was infinitely more than what I did not.
It is dark as I write. The kookaburras are suppressing a chortle in their throats somewhere nearby. I love this moment when I’m home. I am whole.
I leave in a few hours to pick up a new work commitment in the north. I’m so looking forward to the opportunity. Some may regard this as another complication to work-life balance. Not me.
I’ve learnt to embrace the unknown. It epitomizes where I have always wanted to be. I am who I want to be.
Until next time
a dawn bird