When Dawn breaks …

This year
your forever birthday is remembered again
So this morning I woke treading memories
Of where I’ve been
It’s been years
Yet sometimes it feels
I’ve moved on, a day

I wake most mornings alone
While others come and go
Where you once had been
Their warmth is now comforting,
It shouldn’t be, but it is
I’m learning to live guilt free

I recall wrestling with demons was exhausting
they came dressed in well meaning words from friends
in this journey,
life goes on, they said

I’ve found life is not a journey
just as well,
it would had ended long before now
but it didn’t,
somewhere my footsteps faltered
I’m glad they did

I found my home, a new home
to house my body and soul
It has no doors, no gates or windows
The breeze flows
I shut nothing out, nothing in
That’s where, each day, I begin

I reframed the journey,
that common metaphor, into a mirror
it had to be done for me to stand still, and face face
I seek joy in each day
Sometimes in moments like this
finding I now sit comfortably,
in that precarious place
side by side, with pain

And in that moment,
reality takes hold, with each passing day
Grief does not crush
to self, I am true
I am healed, open again
to be loved and to love deeply

Could I have been this brave
Had I not lost you?

a dawn bird

In response RDP – Monday – Daylight